I'm the problem, it's me.
Where I've been + gin and tonic pickles
You may have noticed that it’s been a bit silent over here…my temporary absence will be explained in 3…2…1…
It’s me, hi, I’m the problem it’s me. I talked about my never-ending ability to throw myself into new projects with wild abandon in my very first newsletter. It’s my superpower and my greatest curse. When I started this newsletter back in September, I was searching for a side hustle that included things I enjoyed alongside the potential for more income (we all know how expensive it is to live right now). And wouldn’t you know…two other side hustles that I’m excited to pursue presented themselves to me that same month (I can explain what those are at a later date). You can see my predicament. I took a few weeks to collect my thoughts, camp in the woods with my family, trick-or-treat in Zelda costumes, and get my house back in order…I cannot even explain how nuts September and October were for our family. Even though I know what it’s like to juggle all the things, in that same breath - I know what it’s like to juggle too many things. I was there and would remain there if I didn’t shift.
This newsletter isn’t going anywhere, but I need to set some more realistic expectations for myself and for you on the frequency that you’ll see me here. And let me tell you, those first few weeks when I was busting my butt to deliver one letter a week…I was not in a good place. Life was hectic for many reasons then but I realized rather quickly that if I didn’t make any changes, I would flat-out quit this newsletter altogether in a matter of weeks. Hello, burnout - nice to see you again. And while I only have a few paid subscribers, it didn’t feel fair to them and to me to give up so easily.
So, what does all this mean? Firstly, it means I’m listening to my intuition and shoving my people-pleasing tendencies aside for my own sanity. THAT’S HUGE! My fellow people pleasers know the feeling. BUT, I’m also challenging myself to shift instead of quit. I’m good at quitting. And while that can be a good thing sometimes, in this case…I want to challenge myself not to. Secondly, it means I will show up here at least once a month instead of weekly. Ideally, I will sprinkle in a few more from time to time but I want this side hustle to feel less hustle-y and more soul-filling. I’ll have plenty of side hustles keeping me busy and I’d love for this space to be a place where I can play. Thirdly, to my dear readers who have subscribed and paid for subscriptions - you amaze me and made me feel so damn supported from day one. I am going to be lifting the paywall from all my posts from now on, it feels like I should have done that from the start honestly. A paid subscription option will always be available as a quick and easy way to support my recipe writing and writing in general…or consider it a donation to my “starving artist” fund. Regardless, I’m so incredibly thankful for the support you’ve all shown me. Are you surprised that I went a little too hard and too fast into this? I sure am not. However, I had no idea those other opportunities were headed my way when I pressed “send” on September 1st. Life likes to surprise me like that sometimes when I show up on the internet in this way and it’s a risk I’m always willing to take. Duh.
A Divine Experiment:
I often get asked, “How do you come up with recipes!?” I began experimenting in the kitchen back in 2010. I was freshly married, right out of college, and there was no one around to cook meals for me, so I had to learn. Not to mention…the canned soup, frozen pizzas, and boxed wine at every meal just wasn’t cutting it anymore. I began traveling more for my job as a wedding photographer and there’s nothing better than experiencing new foods in new cities. So as time went on, I wanted to learn how to cook the exciting things I now realized I liked to eat. I will never forget making my first carrot cake from scratch (I don’t think I’d ever even made a cake from a box mix at that point) in my small apartment with absolutely no idea what I was doing whatsoever. I honestly can’t believe I kept going after that, it was an event to say the least.
Basically, all of my cooking adventures stem from my desire to create. I, like everyone else, love it when my dishes are praised by others…but I’ve learned, especially since having kids (insert biggest eye roll ever here, IYKYK), that my desire to create in the kitchen should mostly stem from a place of curiosity and play. And enjoyment! My kids have humbled me in this regard. I often get caught up in the fact that there are thousands of dishes from all over the world that I know nothing about, that I’ll never create, and that I’ll probably never taste. As a recipe editor, it makes my head spin. But if I come back to the simple notion of - just cook what you like to eat Ashley! - the big big world of food isn’t so scary anymore. WITH ALL OF THAT SAID…oh my gosh, what a tangent I just went on…here is the inspiration for my next recipe.
I recently had a cocktail at one of my all-time favorite places on earth that was full of gin and dill pickle juice. I loved it so damn much. Now, a long long time ago…back in my boxed wine days, I had a gin and tonic that I just did not enjoy. I don’t remember the details exactly, but I believe it was either made poorly or with the cheapest gin on the shelf, and from that moment on, I didn’t think I was a gin girly. I’ve had cocktails recently that started to change my mind, thank god…because in my curiosity, I went home and experimented with making gin and tonics to my liking. Lots of lemon or lime. Briney pickle juice. Salt. Better quality gin. The bubbliest tonic water. My mind was blown…I am a gin girly! I just needed to flex my recipe-creating muscles to find the magic combination for my own tastebuds.
In my research for this divine experiment, I came across something that made my yum radar beep incessantly - gin and tonic pickles. These pickles take some of the classic quick pickling methods we know and love, but gin acts as our vinegar in this case. You can snack on these boozy cukes of course, but I created a version that I think shines the brightest when plopped into a gin and tonic or bloody mary as garnish. They are herbaceous, sweet, sour, salty, with a touch of bitterness and a hint of spice - all of the things I would want to compliment my next G&T!
Gin and Tonic Pickles
1 quart-sized mason jar and lid
A few sprigs of dill
1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes (1/2 teaspoon if you like things spicy)
6 mini cucumbers, stems removed and quartered
1 slice of lemon
1 slice of lime
3 tablespoons lemon juice
3 tablespoons lime juice
3 teaspoons sugar
3 teaspoons kosher salt
1/3 cup gin
Tonic water
Lightly roll the mason jar over the sprigs of dill to release that dilly goodness. Plop the dill and red pepper flakes into the bottom of the jar. Pack the quartered cucumbers into the jar and tuck the lemon and lime slices in as well. Add your lemon juice, lime juice, sugar, and salt. Top with a lid and shake until most of the sugar and salt has dissolved. Pour in fresh tonic water until the cucumbers are completely submerged. Put the lid back on, and place in the fridge for at least 24 hours. These beauties will last 4 weeks in the fridge, pop one out to garnish your next G&T or bloody mary. You can also stir in one tablespoon of the pickling liquid if you want even more of that delicious flavor. Cheers!
I love you, friends….thank you thank you thank you for your support thus far!